Mr. Hunter.

Yes. I have been caught. Caught by this desire to do one of the things i love most...cycling. I started cycling at the tender age of 13...everyday...to my high school... so it was not so weird when i decided to cycle from the rented house to ukm (university) as well... this love for cycling was ingrained in me...coz...well...for one thing...this is one of the things i do best...cycling.

Getting married n moving to this land was a big challenge indeed.... the terrible traffic of istanbul..plus no safe routes for bicycles made it impossible to cycle. I also gave birth to my children...n while raising them..it was impossible to cycle.ı didnt have anyone to leave them to....Now baddin is in the 1st grade...n hatice..2nd.. n since we r sort of financially stable... i dared to buy myself a gift on our 9th wedding anniversary........and besides... the municipality has done a great job in preparing the cyclists routes alongway the seaside area all the way to pendik...

Even in this fasting month... i cycle every weekdays. i left the bicycle at baba's apt...15 minutes to 20 minutes walk from our place... bicycle in hand...from babaz..i cycle to sahilyolu area..and from there....to bostancı...turn back all the way to fenerbahce...n later agin to bostancı n later to baba's place..n then...15-20 mins of walking home..(if i dont get deviated by the stores along bağdat caddesi hehhe)...this cycling routes take about 10km (sahilyolu only)i think (not so sure)...so basically from 8am...i will be out n home again by 10am...it feels great coz....well... i simply love cycling! i plan to extend my route till the kids' school... but so far... i havent got the permission to cycle till there yet... mainly coz..well..this blabbermouth (me) had once mentioned that ı was sort of harrased twice while walking from the kids' schhol till home using the sahilyolu.. i am simply concentrating on building my strength... to be fit again before i try to persuade my beloved for his permission...

bostancı till fenerbahce route is safe coz there r policemen petrolling the sahilyolu area at all times...after bostancı...no police.. that is why my beloved gets worried... but he knows i am stubborn...i am sure i can persuade him somehow...

So now.. i have 2 options to be fit... on bad cold rainy n snowy days..i can always go walking at the çamlık park where i had my weight challange, pre malaysia...on sunny days... i can cycle... this will be fun!

Frankly speaking... after Malaysia... i have sort of changed.. i dont give a damn anymore about my weight problem... yes..i want to be fit... but i do not feel inferior anymore for being fat..i am comfortable to be me.i feel revived in a lot of ways...as evident in the purchase of my mr hunter n my dareness to drive in istanbul esp to go to the kids' school...if i lose my weight in the process of cycling...that will be great but it is not my priority...to be able to cycle again is my priority....i am simply loving every moment of it! I am happy..

Last nite i had this diarhea attack...my bladder is dangerously not in a so good condition n i feel so weak right now...

i soo wish that i can go to my beloved park right now... but i dont wanna faint while walking... besides.. the park is quite far (15-20 mins walk)... if let say there is a need for me to seek a ladies room....where will i find it? and as u know...this thingy waits for no tolet.. if it wants to come out.. u have to let it out that very moment...oh gee..i am talking gross now! hahaha

the thing is... i cant go to my walk today... i cant go too tomorrow..coz we will deal with the passport thingy... thursday....guests will come by noon for tea..i have to prepare loads of things.... that leaves friday... hopefully i can walk then...

i better get some sleep...i really really feel weak right now *sigh*

The statistics today? 72.5kg.

Even though i couldnt update this blog, i have not abandoned my weight challenge..maybe i am not toooooo careful with my food (thatz an understatement!)...but i do walk...be it at my beloved park or while doing my chores outside...i have not been serious...coz i started my coke again too..

But now the weather is nice again.... my mood n motivation to lose weight is back on again... so insyaAllah..i wont be lagging too much in my weight challenge aim...

Just got back from my beloved park...it is no longer a tiring thing compared to when i first started..(though my soles still hurt loads) ....my body is fit now comparatively. Today esp... as i was walking..i felt my abdomen area tightening...so that is a good sign that my tummy area's fat is melting slowly...all i need is to keep on walking..coz even if i do not lose weight... i need to keep fit...now my question is....

Now that coca cola has produced coca cola zero...claiming that is is sugar free.... does that mean that i am allowed to ge addicted to my coke again?????hmmmm.... if there is somebody reading this... what do u think?

Will i be able to lose 12.5 more kgs in less than 3 months to reach my goal????? i know if i can concentrate..i can...but concentrating is my biggest problem so far esp with food....help!

an overdue update

I am panicking...truly panicking... my time is ticking by and i am nowhere near my target. It started off with the depression (which i still cant figure out why)...then... the kids had their 2 weeks of school holiday.... and amidst the cold weather n the heavy snow istanbul had had ...walking or any form of exercise was impossible. Truly, the cold weather had affected my plan a lot. ...

Now it is sunny again... the kids had started their schooling session about one week and a half ago... still....i can only start my morning walk today... I am not too worry though... even though i could not walk for one week and a half... the multiple chores and running from one place to another to this and that were more than enough to prevent me from gaining my weight (even though i was eating all those unhealthy snacks...

Now..it is time to go back down to earth... the weather r wonderful these days and i seriously need to go back to my exercise plan... I no longer cycle indoor... i just simply havent got the energy coz every night... i am too tired to do anything else but to lie down on the couch n knit....

I have also decided that i need help... and so..i went to the GNC shop (a health shop selling GNC brands) and asked for supplements to help me out... The sales girl asked me whether i wanted to buy a slimming pill or do i want to buy an enerygy burner pill? i decided to buy the energy burner pill coz she said that taking the pill half an hour before any form of exercise will help me to burn my fat...which is just perfect for me since i do walk at my beloved park as my exercise for a total of 2 hours (1 !/' hour at the park and 1/2 hour going to and from the park to my home)a day of walk...

Shhhhhh... dont tell halil of this... this pill is squeezing my already tight budget ..but i think this is an S.O.S... i need assistance...and since GNC is a patented health product... i think i am quite safe taking this...i have no side effect so far.....the GNC card also allows discounts and that card can be used anywhere in the world...great!

For the price of 11YTL..i also bought this....

Something that i think is very cheap...and useful to melt the fat in my tummy...the kids can play with it too.. and they loved it!

What is my statistics? It is.... 72.8kg today...And so my Weight challenge continues....wish me luck!!

Monday

My depression increased towards the weekend. This morning i got angry at halil for refusing to join me for a short walk. He needs to do a bit of walking more than i do.. he keeps having pain on his leg whenever he stands too long.. something i used to have but no longer have ever since i lost a few kgs. His weight is too much nowadays. Even though he promised to join me on wednesday, i went to my çamlık park for my morning walk alone..with full anger within me. İ walked in my fast mode for that full one hour and a half ...not caring whether my feet will kill me... it didnt Alhamdulillah... my new shoes is of good quality....this morning is the final prove.

Yesterday, when baddin looked at m new sport shoes, he said...

*babam gibi*
just like my father's

Yes... he is right. I didnt realise that i bought the same pattern i bought halil 2 n a half years ago when he was in the military service..the only difference is... his is brown n for male..and mine is blue n for ladies..baddin is observant...much to my suprise...

This morning...on my way to çamlık park.. it was zero degree celcius...2 hours later..it was 6 degree celcius. U can imagine how frozen i was early in the morning,right??? After coming back from my walk..i finally dared to look at the weight scale..

73.8 kg!

Phew... i got lucky again despite pigging myself last week in my depression... almost 5 days pf pigging myself n i still got lucky!! Alhamdulillah!!

Took my bath and went to the bank... went to the market to buy the usual fresh milk, yogurt, fruity yogurt and eggs ( a standard daily shopping)..i only had a glass of milk this morning... caught halil on the phone as he was heading to his workplace n i suggested we have lunch together. Suprsingly he agreed. Ate durum n ayran today with a plate of salad... so in order to burn the fat i consumed during lunch, i went home walking all the way from carrefour where we ate...

Not bad for my first day of sort of intensive weight challenge eh?

I think the walk has lifted my spirits... I feel better now.. after a bit of mumbing here.... i feel much much better than better... now it is time to tidy the apt n cook for the kids :0)

The last few days

The last few days, i feel depressed. That affected my weight challenge greatly.

I went walking on monday. It was freezing.

On tuesday, it was a matter of me breathing and the air vaporized. It was cold. But like many other walkers, i walked on.

On Wednesday, as usual, i walked my one hour and a half. I always think when i walk despite the music i listen to.But that last 10 minutes, my thoughts went towards topics that made my heart sad. it was really really difficult to move my legs for that last 10 minutes. As i was walking home, depression took a full force on me.

When i am sad, i eat. It was a strong urge that i went to bim..a market and grabbed all the chocolates i could get my hands on into the trolley. i ate a cake on my way home... Eversince that day...even today... i have been eating non stop. i am afraid to look at my weight scale!.

Thursday, i didnt go walking since there will be pazar ...i usually walk 2 hours in pazar anyway...

Come friday, i had this xtreme exhaustion in me. it was really difficult to open my eyes!! And so... i went to sleep after the kids went to school.I needed to rest...to get back my bearings. I am glad i did. After noon, i went to the tour agency to look at my options for flight tickets this june... went walking till meşe's place...walked some more at bağdat caddesi before i returned home. i think those walks covered my walking exercise for the day. But i am eating like crazy still!! help!! me and my sad thoughts!! arghhhh!!

I cant do any walking today n tomorrow. Thatz ok. I plan to go back in full weight challenge force on monday. i need to cut down on my food as well... at least no more junks n coke...i dont usually eat junk food..n i have long ago sort of abandoned coke..but this week....i know i can do this... I just need to get my act together.

My last statistics?
İ DARE NOT LOOK!!

i will start my challenge intensively come monday. Have a nice weekend everyone!!

My update-2008

On the 20th of November, i managed to shed my fat till i was 72.1kg.... I had stopped my walk and any form of exercise and had eaten like a pig ever snce then....baba..my dad in law got sick....my heart wasnt in any form to exercise...and later the hospitalization period....his death.......i wasnt able to exercise... my heart wasnt in it...



As a family, we are much better now... we r still very sad...but life needs living... and last week i started my weight challenge again...



i walked twice last week.... i couldnt do more coz my feet was hurting far too much...i realised that my sport shoes .... r no longer suitable for my walking... halil bought me that many years ago... i realised that i needed a new proper walking shoes... and so..last friday...despite the heavy falling snow....(sebenarnya sengaja jalan bawah snow coz i love the feeling of snow falling onto me hehehehe)

i went to kadıköy to buy myself a proper walking shoes with a proper support... i was guessing that shops in kadıköy would have wonderful discounts at this time of the year..esp now it is winter and they will try to finish their last year's stocks... i was right...

i went to Çetikaya and got myself a Nike running shoes for price of 75YTL (1 US dollar is 1.5YTL).....a discount of 10 YTL...that is a good discount..though i really really feel guilty deep inside for wasting money like this... i mean...i can use that money for something else...esp for the kids... yup... u r looking at a very guilty feeling mom right here...but i simply love my new shoes

Went walking today... it was raining...drizzling more like it... but many walkers like me kept on walking...walked my usual one hour and a half walk...and yup! my feet didnt hurt!! i am sooo glad for that!! nowadays walking wont be so much torture anymore...!!

But walking in winter has its chalenges... for one...i walk... the weather is cold... i cant wear too thick clothing despite the cold since i will sweat while walking. Thus, i go walking with just a sweater n a thin spring jacket. Before reaching the park (20 mns from my home)... i usually freeze...sejukkkkkkkkk.... i will reach the park trembling....only after 10 minutes walking, i will catch my normal walking momentum and start warming up...

How can i walk for one hour n a half without getting bored? itz simple really..the park is beautiful...n on top of that...the moment i enter the park area, i usually take off my glasses and turn on the mp3.... walk...walk.... i find myself going on a moderate mode at the beginning..only toards the last half an hour of the walk do i turn into a faster mode... (tak nak la pengsan kalau sejam setengah terus buat fast mode kan?)... i adjusted my modes according to my own body strength... i dont try to follow other people's modes since some can really walk at the speed of a jet! hahaha .....but i do find myself following the mode of this one elderly guy (i suppose he is elderly coz his hair is totally white ...at least from behind)...if i manage to catch him walking..i usually follow his walking mode coz his is just perfect for me... other regulars r either too slow or too fast...

My stats right now?? after a longggg break..i was expecting myself to have my old weight again... but i think Allah has been kind to me somehow... i have only managed to increase my weight a few kilos... i am now officially...73.9kg!!
,
It is from this weight... 73.9kg... i officially declare to myself that my weight challenge is back on! i need ur support n motivation... i will insyaAllah go back to malaysia middle of June... i need to lose weight till i am 60kg by then..that is my aim...wish me luck!

Food!